I'm a natural runner. For my whole life I've been one of the top distance runners in my school. I've hardly needed to train to beat most people. I once put on my trainers for the first time in two months and ran for one and a half hours straight. I ran 7.5 km up a hill, turned around at the top and ran the whole way back. I just can. It's one of my natural gifts.
At first my competitive nature revelled in it. I love winning. I was unbeatable in my small country school, beating the fastest students two years ahead of me. But when I left primary school and moved to a bigger intermediate I found out that there are other people who are naturally gifted runners like me. I was no longer assured of a win, but people still knew I was one of the fastest, and that satisfied my need to win.
One of the other runners was not a natural. He'd trained. His mum was his coach, and she offered to coach me too, to unlock my potential, make me faster and better. Of course I agreed. And I liked it. She took me to weekly meets where I competed with all the other runners my age, and while I wasn't the fastest there, It made me faster than all my peers at school. Eventually my coach left the country to push one of her kids into competitive gymnastics. I switched to a different coach. I liked him. He pushed me harder and faster, and I ran harder and faster. But after a while I started noticing how the other runners were improving.They were always fast, but now they were faster, and it felt like I wasn't improving.
I was only fifteen when I dropped out of running. Still quite young. My latest competitive races hadn't gone well, and I was getting thoroughly beaten by up-and-coming runners who hadn't been training as long as I. For the last 5 years I've told myself that this is the reason I stopped. Selfishly protecting my ego as a runner. I didn't get worse at running though. It never took long to get back up to a fitness that far surpassed that of my friends and classmates. In my final three years of college I ran the school cross-country in the same age group. I ran it in bare feet and I came in the top ten every time. I knew I was a good runner. Perhaps I could have done better had I trained, or worn shoes. The course involved running through gorse infested fields, down roads, and along gravel paths. But I knew that if I did run in bare feet, and if I did it without training, I could prove my natural superiority and skill. Such is my ego.
It wasn't until recently that I realised the true reason I stopped running. I no longer enjoyed it. Running became a chore. I was putting stress on my body to reach an outcome that was not worth the effort.Well, I knew that, but I could never explain why I wasn't enjoying it as much. But now I know.
Running is a gentleman's sport. It is a true test of one of our most basic skills. Who can't run? It is easy to test, compare, and compete in. But it's two-dimensional. You stand at the start line with all your competitors, Then you run until you cross the finish line. You never interact with your competitors during the race, you never stop running, never change. And that is why I pulled out. I could not compete in an environment where I couldn't use my creativity. There was no space for personal flair, personal style, or trying something new.
Running is something I am gifted at, and I always thought that was my gift. What it really is, is the first real use for my gift. My legs are strong. It's kind of weird how strong my legs are. My cardiovascular fitness in good, but my legs have never fallen out from under me before my lungs or heart. Running is not the only thing my legs are good for. Many sports require running as a part of the play...
Monday, November 1, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Recently I find myself sitting at my computer, re-checking the same five sites. Each one publishes a web comic that I enjoy reading, and each produces their comics at differing intervals. I hang out for these short comic strips in much the same way I imagine American kids hang out for their favourite weekly comic to line the shelves of their local comic book store.
I struck me that perhaps I should stop waiting for these people to write something new and take action by producing another post on my blog, so as to save my readers from the same agonising wait. Then I remembered that I don't have any readers. And this blog is written for me. I couldn't possibly be keeping anyone in suspense. I then decided to just go ahead and write something, and it wasn't until I was writing this that I realised that I do need to regularly write to keep a particular reader happy. Me.
Am I selfish? I don't care. Am I messed up in the head? I still don't care. I'm happy, and I have the means to reproduce the feeling. Do you?
I still need to write more...
I struck me that perhaps I should stop waiting for these people to write something new and take action by producing another post on my blog, so as to save my readers from the same agonising wait. Then I remembered that I don't have any readers. And this blog is written for me. I couldn't possibly be keeping anyone in suspense. I then decided to just go ahead and write something, and it wasn't until I was writing this that I realised that I do need to regularly write to keep a particular reader happy. Me.
Am I selfish? I don't care. Am I messed up in the head? I still don't care. I'm happy, and I have the means to reproduce the feeling. Do you?
I still need to write more...
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Equal Opportunity Kids
I don't hit girls.
It's not because I've always, as a guy, been told that it is wrong. Well in a way it is. But not directly.
Have you ever questioned why it is wrong for a guy to hit a girl? If you have, you were probably told that it is because they are not as strong as you and, well, with great strength comes great responsibility. But that's not why I wont hit a girl.
I hate to break your illusion, and deflate your ego, but you aren't naturally stronger than women. Studies show that it is the way in which a boy is raised that gives him is physical superiority. Tests done on pre-teen children showed that boys were significantly better at throwing than girls, BUT, when tested with their non-dominant hand, all children were roughly equal. What does this mean? I'll tell you: It means that society tells us that boys should be rough and physically active, and girls should work in the kitchen and be responsible for raising families. As such, boys are raised playing rough games, and girls are raised with toys that replicate the kitchen or household. Of course the boys will be more physically capable as they get older.
One could almost argue that a boy should be able to hit a girl, because the girl has the potential to be stronger than the boy. Almost. But I'm not justifying domestic abuse. It is true, the girl could be stronger, and some are, but in reality they are not raised like boys. They may be strong, but they have not had the same opportunity to be strong that we take for granted.
So no, I don't hit girls because I am stronger than them. They have just as much potential to be as strong as I am. The reason they are not is not biological, it's social. I refuse to hit a girl, not because she is weaker than me, rather because she has not been given the same opportunity to be as strong as me. To believe that girls are not as strong as boys is to replicate the situation and reinforce it, restarting the cycle.
will you give your children equal opportunities?
It's not because I've always, as a guy, been told that it is wrong. Well in a way it is. But not directly.
Have you ever questioned why it is wrong for a guy to hit a girl? If you have, you were probably told that it is because they are not as strong as you and, well, with great strength comes great responsibility. But that's not why I wont hit a girl.
I hate to break your illusion, and deflate your ego, but you aren't naturally stronger than women. Studies show that it is the way in which a boy is raised that gives him is physical superiority. Tests done on pre-teen children showed that boys were significantly better at throwing than girls, BUT, when tested with their non-dominant hand, all children were roughly equal. What does this mean? I'll tell you: It means that society tells us that boys should be rough and physically active, and girls should work in the kitchen and be responsible for raising families. As such, boys are raised playing rough games, and girls are raised with toys that replicate the kitchen or household. Of course the boys will be more physically capable as they get older.
One could almost argue that a boy should be able to hit a girl, because the girl has the potential to be stronger than the boy. Almost. But I'm not justifying domestic abuse. It is true, the girl could be stronger, and some are, but in reality they are not raised like boys. They may be strong, but they have not had the same opportunity to be strong that we take for granted.
So no, I don't hit girls because I am stronger than them. They have just as much potential to be as strong as I am. The reason they are not is not biological, it's social. I refuse to hit a girl, not because she is weaker than me, rather because she has not been given the same opportunity to be as strong as me. To believe that girls are not as strong as boys is to replicate the situation and reinforce it, restarting the cycle.
will you give your children equal opportunities?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The Eloquence of the Written Word
I love to write. I love to read. For me, the written language has always been an escape from reality into the world of my imagination. A book is not like a movie. The characters are explained and detailed, but how these details come together to form a character, that is left up to me. Movies leave no space for imagination. They use cheap tricks and mind games to make you think, but they never let you create. At least not to the degree that a book will. Books are a magic that is dying out. Nobody reads books anymore. I don't. I simply don't have time. And yet, I wish I did.
My imagination is one of my best kept secrets. I haven't even divulged the extent of it to those closest to me. It is the inner me that holds the rest of me together. The only place you will see that imagination, the only time I let it loose upon the world, is in my creative writing. I love writing stories, making my worlds, my heroes, my secret life a reality. And once again, it does not happen as much as I wish it did.
I've always been told by my teachers that I have a fantastic writing style. An English teacher whom I respect once told me of an essay I produced that it was written fantastically, But it made no sense. That was 4 years ago, and ever since the same comment has slipped into almost all of my work: "well written, but key points missing", "Beautifully written but contains fundamental errors", "a pleasure to read, but some points were not clear". My marks have always been good anyway.
But I'm losing it! My marks are slipping and more and more the comments hint at a lazy writing style. And I can see clearly why too. I'm out of practice. My imagination has been neglected, my bookshelf is gathering dust, and my writing is declining steadily. Look at this, for example, this is no pleasure to read. I wish it was. But not for you, for me. This is for me. And this is me telling me to stop not being me and just be myself.
Perhaps they were right. perhaps the video games have deadened my creativity and adventure. It's time to make a change, and even as I write it, I'm not sure what that change is...
My imagination is one of my best kept secrets. I haven't even divulged the extent of it to those closest to me. It is the inner me that holds the rest of me together. The only place you will see that imagination, the only time I let it loose upon the world, is in my creative writing. I love writing stories, making my worlds, my heroes, my secret life a reality. And once again, it does not happen as much as I wish it did.
I've always been told by my teachers that I have a fantastic writing style. An English teacher whom I respect once told me of an essay I produced that it was written fantastically, But it made no sense. That was 4 years ago, and ever since the same comment has slipped into almost all of my work: "well written, but key points missing", "Beautifully written but contains fundamental errors", "a pleasure to read, but some points were not clear". My marks have always been good anyway.
But I'm losing it! My marks are slipping and more and more the comments hint at a lazy writing style. And I can see clearly why too. I'm out of practice. My imagination has been neglected, my bookshelf is gathering dust, and my writing is declining steadily. Look at this, for example, this is no pleasure to read. I wish it was. But not for you, for me. This is for me. And this is me telling me to stop not being me and just be myself.
Perhaps they were right. perhaps the video games have deadened my creativity and adventure. It's time to make a change, and even as I write it, I'm not sure what that change is...
Monday, October 11, 2010
Summer
I was jogging in to see Rose last week and came across someone's attempt to make the world a brighter place. It sure as hell made my day brighter. The person in question had written a word every 20 or so metres. Each word was written in brightly coloured chalk and each one made me think of summer memories. Laughter, music, sunset, happiness, rain, and glorious were just a few words of the art piece that streched a good kilometre along the footpath of George st.
Whoever that was, made my day.
Summer is without a doubt the source of the greatest memories in my life. It is where my home is, and where my heart is. I would be a completely different person if there was never a summer. I'd be a different person if there was never a winter either, but for me, it's the summers that makes me. If a man is determined by the mistakes he makes in his life, not the sum of his success, then this is not the right metaphor for me. I endure the dark times to see the summer.
But it's not the summer itself, it's the experience within my habitus. It wouldn't be summer without camping in Havelock, swimming with Rose and hanging out with the boys. SIGH
Whoever that was, made my day.
Summer is without a doubt the source of the greatest memories in my life. It is where my home is, and where my heart is. I would be a completely different person if there was never a summer. I'd be a different person if there was never a winter either, but for me, it's the summers that makes me. If a man is determined by the mistakes he makes in his life, not the sum of his success, then this is not the right metaphor for me. I endure the dark times to see the summer.
But it's not the summer itself, it's the experience within my habitus. It wouldn't be summer without camping in Havelock, swimming with Rose and hanging out with the boys. SIGH
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Politics and Post-Apocalypse
There has always been something distinctly intriguing to me about the Fallout series. There is a lot going for these games. Ideas and themes that are not entirely original, but awesome none the less. Innovations in game play that make the American post-apocalyptic wasteland an interesting place to be. But the one thing that always caught my imagination is the setting. I remember reading somewhere that Fallout is based in a world parallel to ours, differing only in that sometime in the 1950's the fashion and society had stopped moving forward, and instead technology progressed at a much greater rate, freezing culture in the 'golden era', facilitating the production of robots and laser guns.
Let's be honest, this adds a cool theme to game play and makes things a little more original. I was such a simple yet effective idea that it was later imitated by the creators of Bioshock who captured another era of vibrant architecture and high fashion with great success.
It wasn't until recently, however, that a deeper current became clear.
Having sat through a crash course on Neo-liberalism as a part of my study, I can now claim to have an understanding of questionable depth on such matters.
As such, I would like to inform you about something you may have missed:
There was once a time when most aspects of society were controlled by the government. This time encompasses, of course, the 1950s. However in the 1980's one President Ronald Reagan began selling off state enterprises into private ownership, a move commonly referred to as "Reaganomics". A more familiar term for my fellow countrymen is "Rogernomics" as our Prime Minister of the time, Roger Douglas, followed in the footsteps of the dominant superpower of the time, the USA. This was a left-field (no pun intended) move from the Labour government that went against their slightly left views, but that's getting it bit political for my liking.
What this resulted in is the advent of Neoliberalism and private ownership of everything. Basically, private corporations now controlled the operation of such things as power, railway, telecommunications, and air travel. While mostly unimportant to my point, Taxes were consequently reduced so you the consumer could choose what to spend your money on.
The capitalist society we now live in was born. The development of technology is driven no-longer by national rivalry and competition, but by consumerism and public interest. You choose what technology should be researched and how much money should be spent on it simply by buying the things you like. Money the government could have put towards making 2001: A Space Odyssey a reality has instead been poured into making technology that is small enough to carry around with you, but has the capacity to hold hundreds of Cd's.
Basically, you (yes YOU) are the reason the hottest news in technology this year will be that apple released the iPad. You could be living in colonies on the moon. You could have your very own robot to do your chores, You could own a freaking hoverboard! The list of things you could have is vast, and clearly detailed in the works of movies, late 20th century sci-fi novels, and video games. Which brings us full circle. So here is the point that I am, in a very round about way, trying to tell you is the one thought that has been bouncing around in my head all day. And that point is: The technology and technological prowess of the world of fallout is a socialist glimpse at the world as it could have been.
This isn't a political blog. I'm just musing.
Let's be honest, this adds a cool theme to game play and makes things a little more original. I was such a simple yet effective idea that it was later imitated by the creators of Bioshock who captured another era of vibrant architecture and high fashion with great success.
It wasn't until recently, however, that a deeper current became clear.
Having sat through a crash course on Neo-liberalism as a part of my study, I can now claim to have an understanding of questionable depth on such matters.
As such, I would like to inform you about something you may have missed:
There was once a time when most aspects of society were controlled by the government. This time encompasses, of course, the 1950s. However in the 1980's one President Ronald Reagan began selling off state enterprises into private ownership, a move commonly referred to as "Reaganomics". A more familiar term for my fellow countrymen is "Rogernomics" as our Prime Minister of the time, Roger Douglas, followed in the footsteps of the dominant superpower of the time, the USA. This was a left-field (no pun intended) move from the Labour government that went against their slightly left views, but that's getting it bit political for my liking.
What this resulted in is the advent of Neoliberalism and private ownership of everything. Basically, private corporations now controlled the operation of such things as power, railway, telecommunications, and air travel. While mostly unimportant to my point, Taxes were consequently reduced so you the consumer could choose what to spend your money on.
The capitalist society we now live in was born. The development of technology is driven no-longer by national rivalry and competition, but by consumerism and public interest. You choose what technology should be researched and how much money should be spent on it simply by buying the things you like. Money the government could have put towards making 2001: A Space Odyssey a reality has instead been poured into making technology that is small enough to carry around with you, but has the capacity to hold hundreds of Cd's.
Basically, you (yes YOU) are the reason the hottest news in technology this year will be that apple released the iPad. You could be living in colonies on the moon. You could have your very own robot to do your chores, You could own a freaking hoverboard! The list of things you could have is vast, and clearly detailed in the works of movies, late 20th century sci-fi novels, and video games. Which brings us full circle. So here is the point that I am, in a very round about way, trying to tell you is the one thought that has been bouncing around in my head all day. And that point is: The technology and technological prowess of the world of fallout is a socialist glimpse at the world as it could have been.
This isn't a political blog. I'm just musing.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
A Customary Obligation
Hi, I guess...
I feel obliged to write something about me, but really I don't want to.
Why start a blog?
Because I can. Let's just say it's a place for me to offload all the bits and bobs that float around my head. My imagination is wild. If I can be bothered, I'll show you a little of what goes on in there...
I feel obliged to write something about me, but really I don't want to.
Why start a blog?
Because I can. Let's just say it's a place for me to offload all the bits and bobs that float around my head. My imagination is wild. If I can be bothered, I'll show you a little of what goes on in there...
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